


Is It Love

by intothemidnightblue



Series: Musicbox [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Most characters are just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothemidnightblue/pseuds/intothemidnightblue
Summary: Once I was afraid that I'd find youYour patient, trembling eyes would unwind meAnd all I've become





	Is It Love

**Author's Note:**

> Song is Intro by Crywolf. Originally the plan for this was a lot more angsty, but I've decided to play nice.

_Once I was afraid that I'd find you_

 

Soulmates, however documented, were only a myth. To prove the existence of soulmates was a feat of both magic and psychology that no one was at yet. It didn’t stop people from believing in it. Hell, any Weasley within six feet would let you know how Fred and George were obviously fated souls passing through this lifetime as brothers. Malfoys were discouraged from such make believe. In fact, they were so adverse to predestination, Lucius wouldn’t even set foot in the Department of Mysteries until he was directly ordered to by the Dark Lord. Fudge couldn’t even get him through that door.

Of course, in Draco’s mind, his father’s avoidance of such realities, however mysterious, was a superstition far more uncouth than just entertaining the idea of destiny. Draco believed in destiny, he also believed in soulmates. None of it brought him any comfort though. Predestination was a tragic tether, tying you to a path or person for no reason other than cosmic luck.

That’s why when his heart set fire for the first time, he was determined to drown it.

 

_Your patient, trembling eyes would unwind me_

 

That was so long ago, on a train with two people very different than the ones who stood together today, in the Room of Requirement with nothing but space and sofas to keep them occupied until someone let them out.

In the beginning, Draco managed well. Young and naive, he tore through feelings he didn’t want to understand with ease. Harry was a passing thought, to torture on the right occasion for having the audacity to stand in the light and overpower it with his own brilliance.

That was, until passing glances became a frequent enough occurrence that others took notice. Until occasional jests turned to locked and loaded rivalry with such a ferocious pull beneath their skin to keep them coming back for more.

But when Draco let himself time to think, in the night when everyone else was already snoring, he knew the pull they felt was more than either of them were ready to face. In the night, he dreamed of gentle exploratory touches prodding a crimson string.

 

_And all I've become_

 

All either would ever know, though, is their hatred for an emotion that refused to leave. While romances and rivalries faded each year, theirs only grew stronger. Crimson string turned bright red, strengthening in Malfoy’s mind until finally he could bury it no longer.

 

_Once I was afraid I'd fall in love with you_

 

Your first kiss is supposed to be magical in every sense but literally. It wasn’t supposed to be to the hum of a curse that went too far, in the girls bathroom after a duel. It was the only apology that could ever begin to repair the damage that had just been caused. It was too gentle, too scared, too apologetic, and too pleading, yet, it was perfect.

 

_For the first time_

 

Draco let himself feel what had been buried under a layer of spite and vitriol. His walls cracked even after they disconnected right before Snape walked in. If he had known anything, nothing showed. On Harry’s way out, Snape had gripped his arm silently, glaring at the panicked boy with a gaze that held less malice and more intense consideration.

“You’re lucky,” he had said carefully as Draco lost consciousness.

 

When he woke, Harry was there. Draco had been awoken by a strange tapping on his hand, which appeared to be Harry deftly examining it as if it were a strange specimen from another planet.

“Your veins run like pathways. Have you always been this pale? Have you been eating enough?” Harry worried, dropping the hand as soon as he confirmed Draco was waking.

“Don’t you already have a mental catalogue of my entire existence in these halls?” Draco reminded in a tone that was generously considered playful.

“When have I ever been this close to you?” Harry asked. He was met with heavy silence.

“Never,” Draco whispered after what felt like years. he reached for Harry’s hand, sitting up a little better to examine it the same way Harry had done his.

Harry’s hand were well worn, calloused from work and gripping his wand too tightly and scarred from years of pain at the hands of all evils. Next to Draco’s, one really saw their differences.

 

_Let's go set fire to all these houses_

 

“You kissed me,” Draco stated after the moment had passed. At some point, their hands had entertained for a second, only to immediately recoil at the weight of the preliminary school action.

“I was afraid I had killed you,” Harry answered as if that explained everything.

“Do you always snog your recent victims?” Draco snorted. Harry blushed brightly.

“You know it’s different,” Harry squeaked out, unsure if he should run with the familiar rush of aggression or finally face what’s been underneath it all after all these years.

“Why is it different?” Draco asked.

“I couldn’t... I couldn’t do anything to help you. I _wanted_ to help you. I immediately regretted what I’d done, but I didn’t know what to do with a spell that wasn’t even in the books. I just got this rush of every emotion at once, and I realized a lot of what I’d been missing,” Harry tried to explain. Draco let him mull in his anxiety for a bit before answering, although less as some sort of tactic and more to figure out how to respond. Draco never was good with loaded questions and avoided loaded answers altogether.

“I would have been fine with just dying there. I was ready, until you kissed me. All of a sudden, everything I was content with was thrown under the bus. I don’t know what to do now,” Draco said stifly.

“Well, you could start by telling me what the crying was about,” Harry pushed. Draco could have smacked him if they weren’t having a moment. Anyway, he was feeling up to it, probably the effects of a calming drought or something of the sort. It cleared the usual haze from his head, yet left him with the absurd conclusion to blindly trust Potter with everything he was burdened with.

“I’ve got to kill Dumbledore. I don’t want to, but if I don’t, it’s my family that will pay the price,” Draco rushed his explanation, shrinking back as Harry’s gaze turned cold.

“I can’t believe I ever thought you had anything else to worry about but your own god damn self preservation. I can’t believe I thought- I can’t.... why couldn’t I have let you be?” Harry’s face crumpled, “I wouldn’t have let you die even if you shoved a dark mark in my face, it’s got to be a weakened at that point, right? The whole world be damned, as long as you fucking live.” Draco was speechless at Harry’s admission. His hand subconsciously went to his arm though, enough to catch Potter’s eye. The boy made no move towards Draco though. He didn’t need to, it was already clear what was under there.

“Can you save my family?” Draco said, fighting back tears. Can you save me? It’s not like sniveling, useless Draco could ever do more than a few bad hexes and maybe a forlorn cruciatus on a particularly bad day. He failed, and he doubted even Harry’s blinding light could help him out of the hole he had dug for himself.

“I don’t know, Malfoy... I don’t know...” Harry twisted the forgotten bed sheets in his hands with worry. Everything felt so out of hand.

“Oh and the death eaters are trying to get in through the cabinets,” Draco snorted.

 

_The smoke will billow up with our laughter_

 

“It was quite an insane way to switch sides; you know, plan to assassinate the headmaster, snog the chosen one, and lead an army through the cabinets. The whole thing seems mad now that I look back on it,” Draco laughed. “It really shows the desperation of the the Dark Lord in his last years,” Harry said triumphantly. Draco just scoffed, “it only shows the desperation of a lost brat on his last legs.” “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” Harry prodded Draco playfully as the other tried to squirm away.

“Oi, I’m ticklish,” he grunted, which only encourages Harry further. Soon, they were both on the floor of the reading room, Harry mercilessly tickling the last breaths from Draco. He only stopped when Draco was red in the face and wheezing.

“Even when it all went to shit, I couldn’t let you go,” Harry kissed the words into Draco skin as the other man clutched his chest for breath.

 

_The flames will lick your skin_

 

Dumbledore met his fate in the end, the vanishing cabinets did their job as well, and Harry couldn’t help but think that the ambush only caused more casualties than if everyone had just kept their heads down. The worst part was, he didn’t even know their names. They were sisters, only suppose to be there to greet the prevailing students and tend to any injuries, only to be cursed by some death eater before the doors were fully opened. The curse hasn’t even been what killed them. It wasn’t magic that killed them. The only thing that saved the others was the girls banging on the doors with the strength of twenty men. Harry could only watch on some trinket before being whisked back to protect Dumbledore.

He was too late though, only in time to see him fall and as a shaken Draco tore at the tragic mark on his skin. Snape was there and gone, with Harry only knowing what had transpired by the flash of light and tuck of a wand before he had vanished.

He ran to Draco, healing spells only faintly whispered yet still as strong as if he had cast them with a wand. Draco wailed pitifully as the skin stitched itself together. Harry held him desperately, whispering future comforts only they knew.

It was a shock to the others when the first scene after crossing the threshold was Harry Potter clutching and kissing a blubbering Draco Malfoy when he still had a full death eater mark on display.

 

_And I'll fall in love with you_

 

“I might have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you, had we both not been right bloody tossers,” Draco giggled after one too many drinks. Ron had gone to hell and Hermione was hot on his trail trying to drag him back. The other horcruxes were left to Harry and Draco... but only after the two had decided to throw caution to the wind, down a polyjuice, and down a shit load of more drinks only wizards could think of. A few too many drinks down and a drunken stumble to a room paid in coin and they were already contemplating what could have been as the last but of blonde faded from Harry’s hair.

“I think I loved you through it all,” Harry mused, “just couldn’t begin to realize I was gay, much less gay for you.” He took a swig from a cup he had pilfered from some passed out fool. Draco snorted, snatching the drink and downing the rest of it too skillfully for a straight edge Slytherin Prince.

“Ah, your staaaaring Golden Boy,” Draco snickered, rolling around to crawl like a cat to where Harry was hanging upside down from the bed. A quick peck from Draco and Harry was dragging the boy up with him.

 

_For the first time_

 

Their first kiss had been timid and scared.

 

_For the first time_

 

Their first fuck was rough and heated. So full of lust, and something you might call love.

**Author's Note:**

> this was not betaed for shit and was churned out in a day.   
> a little general upd8, I've not abandoned my other fics, im in college and been dealing with some medical shit as well. I'll be completely back at least by thanksgiving, in the meantime i'll be spitting out some songfics and oneshots. I'll also take short requests.
> 
> comments and kudos remind me I should probably finish my other works as well  
> find me on tumblr @ [lockewoodandco](http://www.lockewoodandco.tumblr.com)  
> twit @ [ jaceisblue](http://twitter.com/jaceisblue)


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